Here’s a list of several City of Sacramento employees who are prime candidates for surgery of a different metaphorical kind..

Ray Tretheway: Blepharoplasty (or “Eyelid Lift”)
Ray needs to open his eyes, and have a look at his own neighborhood where residents will line up to tell you how it has gone from bad to worse since he took office as council person. Now Ray is seeking to loot the North Natomas Finance Plan to fund a West Natomas fire station that should have been built with revenue the city instead spent on downtown projects during the Fargonian Regime. The least Ray could do is buy us a meal at one of the swanky joints downtown. And the least we could do for Ray’s own good is RECALL HIM.

Ray Kerridge. Abdominoplasty (or “Tummy Tuck”)
This won’t be popular, but our city staff is bloated and the fat needs to be cut. The staff is still the same size it was when the good times were rolling, and that is not going to work in these lean times. No one wants to see people lose their jobs, but the bottom line is most companies are cutting personnel to stay above water, and our city should do the same. It’s the cold hard of reality of a recession. My condolences to those who will have to find work elsewhere. I have been laid off twice. It sucks. But drastic economic times call for drastic measures and Kevin Johnson’s audit should identify a lot of non mission critical jobs that can be cut until the city’s dire financial position changes.

Lauren Hammond. Rhinoplasty (or “Nose Job”)
Keen observers will note the honorable councilwoman Hammond is the only one at city hall NOT pinching her nose when the half-baked half-vapored trash-to-energy proposal is discussed in council’s chambers. She remains a staunch proponent of the plan, even though the company offering to construct the “plasma arc gasification” plant free of charge will not discuss financials unless the city signs a contract with them. Lauren continues to push the plan, despite unanswered questions about toxic metal handling, and prospective locations (which one Joe Sac reader opined could very well be North Natomas, the city’s favorite dumping ground). Even dummies like Joe can smell a garbage proposal when one floats under his schnoz.

Leslie Fritzsche. Rhytidectomy (or “Face Lift”)
Poor Leslie is our Downtown Development Manager. There was a time when that title might have been an impressive resume entry, but now days it holds no more cred’ than “Shooting Coach, Sacramento Kings.” In short, the way things are shaping up, the K Street Redevelopment effort outgoing mayor Heather Fargo touted as one of her greatest achievements might–just might–turn out to be one of the costliest FORTY MILLION DOLLAR mistakes the city ever made. $40 million is the number of [North Natomas??] dollars the city burned to acquire K Street property from former owner, Moe Mohanna. $20 million of it was vaporized to help furniture store guru–and Southern California resident–Joe Zeiden (of Z Galleria fame) turn the area into his own little “retail row.” Well, the city has all the property and the coast is finally clear for Zeiden, but now he is nowhere to be found.  Word is that Zeiden is frustrated it took six years to get the deal done (typical Fargo latency), and now wants even MO’ (not Moe) MONEY from us!! Time for Leslie and the council to get their jaws off the floor and find another partner.

Call to action: Recall Ray Tretheway, cut city personnel until city’s finances improve, nix the garbage vapro plan, and STOP SPENDING OUR MONEY ON DOWNTOWN SURGERY!!!