He has a point. Kind of. While I agree texting while driving is dangerous for those who lack good judgment (which appears to be about 15% of the population, according to my friend, Jeff), I question the value of this legislation considering California’s ridiculously cavalier treatment of reckless drivers.

If we are going to start banning people for being irresponsible while at the wheel, I propose we add the following offenses to the good senator’s Texting While Driving (“TWD”) new bill:

• SWD – Spanking kid While Driving
• MWD- Applying Makeup While Driving
• EWD- Eating while driving (In and Out drive thru: “will you be eating in your car?”)
• RWD-Reading while driving
• WWD- Working while driving (using cell phone speaker, but taking notes on steering wheel)
• OMWD- Off meds while driving
• WMWD – Watching movies while driving (in dash screens are easily hacked to play movies)
• BSWD- Being senile while driving (an oldie but a goody)
• SWD- Shooting while driving (check youtube.com for all kinds of amazing behind-the-wheel videos)
• IWD- Ipod’ing while driving (I see more people playing with their ipods than texting)
• PWD- Programming while driving (nav screens are easily hack to function while vehicle is moving)
• AWD-Angry while driving

Personally senator, I find it “hard to believe anyone would attempt” to do ANY of these things while driving.

But seriously, here. Come on senator, if you REALLY care about our safety so much, how about going all the way with a comprehensive bill that penalizes DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL/DRUGS and STREET RACING and RECKLESS DRIVING as true felony crimes? After all, aren’t THESE the people who are the biggest threat to our safety and quality of life?

Here is what I propose:

• First DUI/Reckless/Street Racer offense: $20,000 fine, mandatory Community Service assisting paraplegics, 3 year driver’s license suspension. Fine payable at prime rate plus 1.5% over 5, 10, or 20 years
• Second DUI/Reckless/Street Racer offense: $40,000 fine, mandatory 1 year house arrest, 5 year driver’s license suspension. Fine payable at prime rate plus 1.5% over 5, 10, or 20 years.
• Third DUI/Reckless/Street Racer offense: $100,000 fine, 3 years house arrest, 8 year driver’s license suspension. Fine payable at prime rate plus 1.5% over 5, 10, or 30 years.

You ready to get serious about our safety, senator? We are.

-Joe

Updated: 11:54am PST