In my opinion the crime rate, drop out rate, teen prescription drug usage (1 in 5 now), gang problem, and a litany of other things that are ruining the quality of life in our state (and nation) can all be traced back to the erosion of family values . And before you go wasting your time hoisting up a rebuttal, please know in advance that exception-based anecdotal evidence to the contrary will fall on deaf ears. There are always exceptions to every rule; but by and large, the truth of the matter is:  If you come from a strong family, you are not likely to join a gang, pull a gun on someone, drop out of high school, embezzle from your employer,  or start shooting smack.

But let me be perfectly clear here: In my mind a “family” doesn’t necessarily equate to man+woman+child.  Of course that is the definition I would prefer due to my religious convictions, BUT I accept–and defend to the hilt–any kind of family that stresses love, patience, honesty, integrity, perseverance, generosity, hope, and character to one another. In my mind a “family” could mean many things–such as a strong and loving group home, a single parent household,  et al. When I use the word family, I am essentially saying strong “support system.”

But not so fast, Joe (you say), parenting aint easy, life is stressful, and, as nice as it would be, many of us are ill-equipped to have a “flourishing family.” Touche.  I’m a witness. I know first hand how STRESSFUL it is to be a parent in this day and age.  I come from a strong family unit, have a good moral code and plenty of family support, and STILL endured major heartbreak and strife in my marriage when our kids were really young.

In fact I’ll readily admit the relentless stress of having two young children drove my wife and I away from each other on several occasions, and we toed the divorce line more than once. Through a lot of healing and reconciliation we got our act together eventually (praise God!), but for the longest time I questioned how it all happened, and just couldn’t figure it out. After a lot of marital counseling and introspection, I finally resolved it: My wife and I didn’t have the formal training necessary to resolve conflict, manage money responsibly, etc, and, like many couples, the pressure became too much eventually, resentment set in, and… well… it’s a miracle we’re still together.. and finally flourishing.

But it didn’t come easy. When we agreed to reconcile, we agreed we needed training.. the exact type of training “Flourishing Families” is giving couples. We literally had to start all over again. But it was worth every minute of the time we invested, and to this day we still seek counsel, even though our marriage is as strong as it has ever been.

So yes, I get it. I know how stressful it is–especially without training. I can’t imagine how stressful it is for couples who had even less money and resources than we did during those years of challenge. In my opinion, the work organizations such as The Healthy Marriage Project is the core work we should be doing to stop the violence, and build healthy communities . I also believe our politicians–our mayors and governors, etc– are not doing enough to support and champion these critical programs. No, I’m not saying taxpayers should have to foot the bill for them; I’m saying we’re having too many gang summits when we should be having summits that teach couples how to resolve conflict, and grow healthy families together.

Kevin Johnson–here I go again–is a great example of someone who could be a major player in such a movement.  As far as I know, Kevin had super role models in his mother and grandma, and both of them preached “service to others” and “family” over all else. Kevin went on to be an NBA superstar with a degree in Poli-Sci from Berkeley , and then mayor of Sacramento. He should know firsthand the importance of having a healthy family environment, and he would be a superlative champion and spokesperson for such a cause… especially to young men who look up to him.

Nothing stops a bullet like a job… or a flourishing family…

Source: http://www.sacbee.com/ourregion/story/2056477.html

On the surface these “summits” seem like tools of the diplomacy trade to induce dialogue and promote collaboration with the express intent to improve the quality of education and presumably decrease the number of dropouts district wide, but just how effective are these intellectual orgies?

Personally I think Johnson’s time would be much better spent promoting responsible parenthood at home. After all, home is–ideally–the true greenhouse where the adolescent plant should be watered, nurtured, and grown into a robust tree capable of  thriving in the jungle of life–and weathering the many storms that will invariably pass through it.

Sure, educators play a substantive role in childhood development, and by no means am I discounting the importance of that role; but at the end of the day, kids need rules, encouragement, direction, responsibilities, firm love, and accountability at home, and we all know millions of them are not getting those things.

This once again brings me to the perennial topic of cause versus effect. Many people in our country, most notably our politicians and lawmakers (Mayor #7 included), do not understand the importance of identifying root causes in the quest to eradicate the many problems in the areas of education and crime prevention. They instead spend all our time and money fruitlessly fighting effects. We all know the result: the problems never seem to go away; in fact they only seem to multiply.

Here’s an analogy to express the problem–as I see it at least: Suppose a brush fire kept breaking out on the end of your street every week. Week after week the fire department had to come roaring to the scene to put it out. Investigators blame it on a careless cigarette smoker. In response the city holds a summit, and the principals agree a “fire wall” should be erected at the trouble spot to prevent any further fires. The wall goes up and the fires finally stop. Everyone is jubilant… until the fires begin again on the next street over.

The aforementioned analogy underscores the inherent danger in fighting effects over causes. In the analogy the city put a band aid on the problem by protecting the area where the fires were, instead of getting to the ROOT of the problem and finding out WHO was starting them to begin with.Had they identified the culprit, they would never have had to erect the wall in the first place.

In my mind summits such as those KJ promotes are of the same ilk. In GENERAL–at least historically–these summits typically identify band-aid solutions to problems, implement solutions to temporarily abate them, only to find they never really go away; they just grow back in different forms.

In my totally unscientific–albeit learned–opinion, the reason kids are dropping out of school in record numbers, shooting at people in my neighborhood, snatching purses in my grocery store, and ending up in prison or dead has very little to do with the education system, and everything to do with the deterioration of solid parenting skills.

Furthermore, I believe the absence of consistent parental guidance at home has led to a society where youth are increasingly unaware of the consequences of their actions, and all too often harbor frightening apathy towards other’s life, liberty, happiness and property.

I don’t blame these conditions on youth, nor do I blame them on educators, nor do I blame them on the behavior of the law enforcement community. Personally, I blame them on the parents. This is why I tend to scoff at the idea of summits and meetings to talk and talk about the problems until one is blue in the face and sore in the butt.  We done talked our butts off already for the past two decades. Enough talk. It’s time to try something new.

I continue to be ASTOUNDED by the lack of respect some kids show towards adults. As the lady says on an old Ice Cube song, “That kid needs nothing but a good ol ass whoopin’.” Funny, but true. That’s what kids need. “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” God told us what would happen if kids didn’t get discipline. He wasn’t joking.

I feel sorry for the single moms. It’s HARD for women to raise boys by themselves. So hard. I have personally seen them toil. It’s the devil’s work. Every time I see another story of some kid who screwed off his life–or someone else’s–I have to ask, “Where is his father??”

The answer is all too common; his father is absent, and chances are his father didn’t have a father either. It’s a vicious cycle.  I can’t judge the reasons, I just know the outcome.  Our machismo pop culture doesn’t help the situation either. The culture WE promote helps to turn would-be good men into jerks who treat their women like $#@% and their children like yesterday’s trash.

It’s truly a tragedy–albeit a readily apparent one whose solution is not a great mystery. Though its euphoric to think the problem of irresponsible men could ever be eradicated, I believe it could at least be addressed.. by some responsible men.

I confess I THOUGHT Mayor Johnson was going to bring a fresh set of groundbreaking ideas to city hall to address root causes. Unfortunately, while he is proving to be far more engaged and visible than his predecessor was, he is also proving to be another politician who wants to talk, talk, talk about effects and not causes. :\

When is a LEADER going to emerge and ask these wayward brothers of our to start being accountable and stop being selfish? When is a true ROLE MODEL going to present the idea to our brothers that love = commitment, not lustful pursuit and selfish demand? And when will we have before us someone who understands the only way to even begin to confront a problem is to attack it by the roots?

Perhaps never. Perhaps not. I hold out HOPE such a leader will one day emerge.

In all truthfulness I’m not much interested in the St Hope bored board story as much as I am the PS7 school naming. I’m thinking, “No way.” Must be a myth fabricated by some Johnson hater.. right?  It’s hard to fathom an entire school board would allow a vanity plate like that to be slapped onto a learning institution… ? And, who would even have the audacity to toss such a ridiculously lame moniker into the hat? Ok, ok, maybe THIS guy. Maybe.

Look, I’m reasonable. Let’s say it’s a fluke. Fine. I still have a problem with the name;  of  all the great people who championed education throughout history are you telling me  “PS7″ was the best they could do? What a slap in the face to all of the education giants of our time like Mary Kay Letourneau! The nerve!

Regardless of how this fine school was named, at least we can rest assured that our esteemed mayor would never participate in such a narcissistic undertaking. Not our guy. No way.

Now I did it. I’m sure at least one person will email me or post and ask what I have done for the community lately. They’ll go on to tell me how Kevin has done far more for Sacramental than I have, and of course they will be 100% correct. I am not one of Sacramento’s “favorite sons” (or is that “Suns”?). And if I don’t hear it from another Joe, I’ll still have a Steve.

Yep, I can smell a Maviglio objection coming on, too. Steve is the consummate defender of Johnson’s honor, isn’t he? I respect that. Steve’s the kind of guy you would want leading your rock star defense team on judgment day. No matter the offenses leveled against you, Stevie Wonder Maviglio would  be there every step of the way for you… “Yes, God, ok, he was a murderous thug who ran numbers, dominated the drug trade, knocked off wise guys, and extorted every penny he ever made, but if that’s your only focus you’re missing the real story about this man..”

While I’m ranting, isn’t it funny how all the unoriginal bandwagon jumpers have embraced the word “rock star” to describe someone who is really good at what they do? Wow how times have changed. When I was a teenager, the term “rock star” was not a term of endearment.  Then again, that was when head-banging *real* rock stars like Ozzy Osbourne wore upside down crosses and fake-worshiped satan. Kids loved them, parents hated them, and oh what great air guitar sessions…

Anyways, I say run with it. Next time someone calls you a rock star, pull out a live bat and bite its head off right in front of them. For effect spit the head back out onto their shirt, and then hold up your index and pinky fingers and whip your head back and forth. Bet they never call you that again.

Have a GREAT WEEK!!