Updated! “Go Green” rules added! Mayor Fargo is in the news again, this time with a pioneering innovation even James Dyson would be proud of. We can only hope her big idea was harvested from one of the many green conferences she attended around the globe on our dime. Brace yourself for this one. Are you ready? You sure? OK..

The mayor has declared more bike racks are needed downtown, and apparently she wants to make it easier for Sacramento businesses to implement them.

“Easier?” you ask. “What’s so difficult about installing a friggin’ bike rack?”

Well, turns out installing a rack is the easy part; the hard part is convincing the city your business needs one. That’s right friends, if you are a business owner in Sacramento, and you want to be a green-friendly destination for area cyclists, you will need to go through the city first to obtain the two (2) permits they require you to have. And if you haven’t retired by the time they process your applications, when you go to city hall to pick your permits up, you might want to bring your checkbook with you because you’ll need to cough up a whopping $440 to get them out the door.

How about that? All those trips around the world in an Amazing-Race-style quest to end global warming, and right here in ol’ Sac the great Fargo is penalizing businesses who want to help spare the air. I’m finally starting to understand why the mayor named her environmental initiative the “go green CHALLENGE.”

Of course Heather had eight years to reverse this ludicrous policy (along with a plethora of others that are completely averse to reducing Sac’s carbon footprint), but in her trademark firefighting style, the Farg’ waited until gas prices were nearly $5 per gallon to notice half the bikes downtown are tethered to trees and streetlights, and begin thinking about healthier modes of transportation.

Some may say I’m being too hard on her. They might argue: “Duh! If YOU were being chauffeured around by a Sacramento Police detective all day, would YOU be thinking about gas prices, exercise or clean air?” And I would have to reply “Of course not, I’d be thinking about St Patrick’s Day and my trip to Ireland.” So let’s at least give her a golf clap for even having the thought.

But wait, all this talk about making the downtown area more bike friendly makes this Natomas resident a bit “green” with envy. I mean, the Farg’ sold homeowners on the idea of Natomas being the “future of Sacramento” and all, yet the only way they can get downtown is by driving or taking the RT (unless you like playing live Frogger and navigating freeway overpasses). Heck, we don’t even have a single bike trail that doesnt require crossing a major thoroughfare street, in some cases OVER a concrete center medium (watching mothers navigate these with their baby strollers is a very disturbing experience; and yes, I have personally got out of my car and helped them before, and seen others do the same).

Updated! We have obtained a PARTIAL LIST of parameters and rules of the Mayor’s Go Green Challenge which clearly show why going “green” is indeed a CHALLENGE in Sacramento:

-Bike racks cost $440 and require 2 permits for Sac area businesses to own
-Natomas bike trails are the worst, and residents have no way to bike safely to their neighborhood stores and big box wonderlands (note: bike racks at stores like Raley’s are not user friendly)
-No incentives for businesses to have telecommuting workers
-Thousands of antiquated Sacramento city stoplights in all parts of the city make cars sit and idle for minutes at a time when NO TRAFFIC IS COMING FROM ANY DIRECTION!
-There are no family venues in Natomas (bowling, softball parks, roller rinks, mini golf, sun splashes, chucky cheese, Big John’s, etc etc etc) so families have to travel across town to another neighborhood for a family outing (this alone is enough reason to recall Tretheway, IMO)
-Technology unfriendly city web site that doesn’t offer residents the ability to conduct most business transactions with the city online as many other cities do.
-City services billing is not paperless like truly “progressive” cities.

Oh well, glad to see Fargo finally going green and getting the bike racks even though she doesn’t promote the bikes, even if it is in the final moments of her 8 year vacation at city hall. Maybe this is what she means by “progress” ? Personally, I think a more apropos campaign slogan would be “better late than never,” but I suppose that’s a bit lengthy and doesn’t have the same deceptive ring.